3 Lessons I’ve Learned From Being 13
Yesterday, it was my 14th birthday. I decided to journal at 1 AM and reflect on the lessons I’ve learned in the last year, as I went through a pandemic (and frankly, still am), a drag of loneliness and insecurity, and learned how to love.
Lesson One: You are not what people make of you.
You are the only person that can say what you are. Who you are. You are the only one who is always going to be with yourself. These other people who say you’re fat, you’re short, you’re skinny, they don’t matter. They are not the ones who decide you, and they aren’t long lasting.
I feel like this year was a journey to that discovery. On February 19th, 2020, there was so much insecurity surrounding my body. I wasn’t comfortable with it, because I kept thinking of what my classmates were talking about, whether I should change something to make sure I fit in, etc. It’s not uncommon to feel this way. It’s how most of us live our whole life. But what truly matters in the end, is what you think of yourself.
For me, I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m cool as hell.
Lesson Two: My failures come as a learning experience.
I applied to my first internship about a month ago, and I didn’t get it. I had hyped myself up, and really believed that I was going to get the job. It broke my heart when I didn’t get that job, and I didn’t know how to handle it. After a few days of reflection though, I realized that I’m glad (well, to the extent of being glad of getting rejected) I didn’t get in on the first try. With this failure, I learned how to fail, and how to come back stronger. It’s not something I could have learned by reading articles or watching videos. Experience is the only thing that could have taught me that.
Lesson Three: I love myself.
Spending hours with yourself is something many people have done while staying at home. Some people watched YouTube, some Netflix, some read books while others played video games. I decided to journal.
In the beginning, I was hard on myself. Why I wasn’t talking with friends, why I wasn’t doing my work like I should, why I couldn’t properly handle my emotions. It was all true. But I believe that everyone has to go on this journey at least once in their life. Many people live their whole life in this bubble of always beating themselves down, and seeing only the worst of themselves.
But as I look back on those journal entries, I’m proud of that Fatima. She stuck it out. She worked hard to get me where I am now, and nothing can compromise that.
With loving yourself though, I feel like you need to have a balance between loving who you are, and still wanting to improve yourself. It’s like loving yourself enough to want the future you to love that version of themselves as well. Does that make sense? I hope so.
Being 14 is something that’s going to bring more. Whatever more might mean; new relationships, new struggles, new ideas. I’m ready for it.
A goal I want to achieve by next year: Being able to formulate my own opinions, and have the ability to back them up with facts. Strong opinions, loosely held.
